it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
