Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
