Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
