We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize