I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
