When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
