would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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