she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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