It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
