I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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