I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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