I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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