im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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