Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
