I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
