i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
