Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
