I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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