Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
false alarm. still invincible.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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