i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
