your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize