Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize