I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
