I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
