Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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