it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
