I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize