I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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