My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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