what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
