when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize