This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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