I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
