The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
COCAINE IS GR8
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
