last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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