HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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