I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize