she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
