"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So much rum. So many feels.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
