if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
