those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize