Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
