So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
