hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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