I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize