ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you never un-have a 4some
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
