Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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