the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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