guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize