did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
