Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
