apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Fuck appropriateness.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
