you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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