I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
