watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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