hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize