super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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