I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What a dumb baby whore.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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