Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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