The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
