I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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