You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
