i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
