i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He better not be in your backpack
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize