The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
