He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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