kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize