The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i came on her dog
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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