i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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