How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize