Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
