i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
