escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
