I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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