if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
