Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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