I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize